Heavy Heart

My heart is heavy. Each year as this time approaches it becomes easier to internalize my sadness but tonight my heart is very heavy. You see, as Valentines Day approaches for many it is filled with joy and laughter and love. For me, unfortunately, it is filled with loss and sadness. My father passed away on February 14, 1997. 13 years have gone by and while it has gotten easier I still miss him.


Tonight the pain crept up and flooded its way back into my heart. I found out that one of my dear friends lost her grandmother last week. While it was expected that she would not recover from a fall it is still a raw emotion of loss and sorrow.


Add to that I read another friends status tonight to find out that his sweet mother had passed away after a long battle with breast cancer. I have to post his status because what he said was simply beautiful : 'Her diminished size is in me, not in her. And just as someone at my side says: "There, she is gone." There are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout "Here she comes!"'

Tears just came pouring out when I read this because the image I have of the angels and of Jesus being excited that Ms. Martha has joined them is just overwhelming and yet I know the sadness that my friend is experiencing all to well.

And to add to this, I just read where a girl I went to high school with has a 14 month old son with SMA and they have decided to let him go. He has been in the hospital for about a week sedated and on a vent. This is not the first time she and her husband have had to make this agonizing decision. They had another son who passed away when he was 4 months old from the same disease.

Please pray for all of these people as they deal with the grief and sorrow of losing someone they love so dearly.

I don't mean to write a depressing blog....